Hello! its been almost a month since i blogged. its so sad. its not writer's block that's doing me o, and its not dat i'm too busy. i dunno if its me being nonchalant (dats very normal wit me) or watever. i'll try to keep up from now tho.
do u ever reminisce about when you were younger? when your worries were just 'i don't want mummy to catch me'? when love was just pure and innocent? when you were not paranoid about anything? when your relationship worries were not - is he/she cheating, is he/she husband/wife material, will he/she marry me? when everything was just about fun? I woke up yesterday morning with that feeling. i have this problem of remembering things...details especially (refer to my post http://tunmama.blogspot.com/2010/11/goldfish-like-mesmh.html) so when i was remembering all those times when things used to be so easy it was vague but it was sweet.
Its so difficult now that before you do anything you have to think about so many other things. Being too cautious sucks u know, it usually backfires. when you are too careful sometimes, the other person knows and that person can take complete full advantage of you by making u understand that theres nothin to be cautious about and that you can trust them with ur feelings. Believe it or not, being extremely cautious is the fastest ride to being vulnerable. ask me why. u act all tuff at first, but once the person tells u u can trust them, u let ur guard down, u let it down completely. its like u have found that person that is what you have been looking for. Once you let go, the person now has u completely. U will turn to mumu. Now u will be lucky if this person is good and truly has good intentions, (dats mostly the case), but then u get too comfy and maybe eventually start to over do it. you get so involved that this person becomes ur life. Now imagine if that person just comes to u one day and tells u its over. wont u die? ur life is over na abi? that prolly happend becos once u let down ur guard, u opend up parts of u that the person did not know, and maybe it was too overwhelming for the person. maybe the person started feeling choked or even scared like - wetin be dis? who be dis abeg? there has to be a solution for this, because ur next relationship will most likely start and end the same way as this....
see what i mean? where is the innocence and purity of love??
My advise might sound very silly, but i think thats the only way where u can feel the realness of the moment until it ends or until it blossoms into something bigger and better. Always give 100%. from the beginning to the end. That way, u had fun, no one took advantage of anything, it was good and den it became better or worse, and then every other thing unfolds. Leave it all to destiny, cos truly no one knows tomoro. Instead of starting it like u have a cold heart, getting ur heart melted, only to have it crushed, squeezed stepped on and spat at. then u go back into a harder shell, and have the episode replayed ALL OVER AGAIN when you meet the next douche.
think of it this way....if you act cautious and are paranoid about things, ur not being urself, and it still might not work out, but if you give ur 100% from the begining, u're being urself, it might or might not work, but u still had the time of ur life innit?!
***this applies to WOMEN and MEN! i know both sexes who have had this experience...
hmmmmm i dont even know if this is Roman, Karma, Tunmama or even Tunrayo... i think its Tunrayo, cos i'm speaking from the heart today... ah pple must read this post o! lol