Pls pls plssssss! I dunno why men always feel so important. Fyi, the post from yesterday and that of 2day relate to men jus as it does to women. I kno a lot of babes who are commitment phobic while I kno a lot of guys who are too cautious to fall in love and den end up gettin their hearts broken so please men don't read those posts and think 'oh there she goes again, estrogen! Lai lai. Girls are equally players like men and girls are also heartbreakers so pls stop letting ur ego n pride get d best of u abeg. U are equally as soft!!!
Bye! ROMAN!
Friday, April 8
are u commitment-phobic? is she? is he? am i?
Hello humans.. wazzaaa? after yesterday's blog post some pple started sayin i'm into too much 'love love' tins..hohohoho! who isn't?...mchewww.
Anyways, so this morning it is the phobia of being committed that came to my head. I went online and read this really nice article so i'm gonna share. Are u commitment phobic? do u fear being in a committed relationship dat u are always so un-attached to whoever you are with? well here is a write up on the topic:
Struggling against the fear of commitment often pays off because being able to share your life with someone you really care for can be wonderful.
Anyways, so this morning it is the phobia of being committed that came to my head. I went online and read this really nice article so i'm gonna share. Are u commitment phobic? do u fear being in a committed relationship dat u are always so un-attached to whoever you are with? well here is a write up on the topic:
Commitment phobia is rooted in fear -- fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. Most especially, commitment phobia is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, but especially relationships. And like the proverb, it's a double edged sword: on the one hand you avoid obligations, ties, and commitments yet at the same time the commitment phobic may secretly crave the lives of those who committed and the growth that those roots produced.
Commitment phobics are the women who say, "All men are jerks," or the men who claim, "Women are only out to get my money" - rationalisations to justify avoiding a committed relationship.
Men are generally considered more commitment-phobic than women, but recent research suggests that this might be a case of stereotyping, and that it is not necessarily a gender-specific thing.
Intimacy
However, most commitment phobic men and women truly yearn for a deep and intimate relationship leading toward marriage, but fright causes them to butcher every dating opportunity they may get. Sex outside of marriage, or promiscuous behaviour fosters a false sense of intimacy, which feels really good at the time, but is only a fabrication based on how we think we should feel when we are having sex. It is the substitution of "instant gratification" at the expense of deep, lasting satisfying soul-love.
Relationships
In romantic relationships, the paradox is that the commitment phobic craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. When we speak of commitment phobia among singles, we are referring to folks who avoid committing to long term relationships such as marriage. Previous abusive relationships, intimacy issues or traumatic childhood experiences could be causes for this kind of commitment avoidance. Another possibility is that the child might have witnessed, or been a victim of, poor role models, or even abusive relationships during those formative years. Not surprisingly, this can (consciously or unconsciously) colour the way they feel and take part in relationships as an adult, too.
Statistics show that we are happier and more well-adjusted when we are in committed relationships. According to psychologists, the commitment phobes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships.
Rather than being harmful, commitment-phobia may be seen as a healthy fear that will prevent you from jumping into new relationships before you are ready. At this point you may form temporary friendships and love relationships in order to "get your feet wet" again.
Struggling against the fear of commitment often pays off because being able to share your life with someone you really care for can be wonderful.
Meanwhile, think on this: "Commitment phobia has its roots in the belief that when we love someone, we are responsible for their feelings rather than for our own."
Sooooo, are u commitment-phobic?? tell urelf the truth and work on it o, stop lying to urself. I personally have a few friends that are verrry commitment phobic...they have never admitted it, but reading this article myself, now i know...hmmm
Roman.....OUT!
Thursday, April 7
Oh Wow! to think i used to put up 5 posts a day + innocent and pure love...where has it gone
Hello! its been almost a month since i blogged. its so sad. its not writer's block that's doing me o, and its not dat i'm too busy. i dunno if its me being nonchalant (dats very normal wit me) or watever. i'll try to keep up from now tho.
do u ever reminisce about when you were younger? when your worries were just 'i don't want mummy to catch me'? when love was just pure and innocent? when you were not paranoid about anything? when your relationship worries were not - is he/she cheating, is he/she husband/wife material, will he/she marry me? when everything was just about fun? I woke up yesterday morning with that feeling. i have this problem of remembering things...details especially (refer to my post http://tunmama.blogspot.com/2010/11/goldfish-like-mesmh.html) so when i was remembering all those times when things used to be so easy it was vague but it was sweet.
Its so difficult now that before you do anything you have to think about so many other things. Being too cautious sucks u know, it usually backfires. when you are too careful sometimes, the other person knows and that person can take complete full advantage of you by making u understand that theres nothin to be cautious about and that you can trust them with ur feelings. Believe it or not, being extremely cautious is the fastest ride to being vulnerable. ask me why. u act all tuff at first, but once the person tells u u can trust them, u let ur guard down, u let it down completely. its like u have found that person that is what you have been looking for. Once you let go, the person now has u completely. U will turn to mumu. Now u will be lucky if this person is good and truly has good intentions, (dats mostly the case), but then u get too comfy and maybe eventually start to over do it. you get so involved that this person becomes ur life. Now imagine if that person just comes to u one day and tells u its over. wont u die? ur life is over na abi? that prolly happend becos once u let down ur guard, u opend up parts of u that the person did not know, and maybe it was too overwhelming for the person. maybe the person started feeling choked or even scared like - wetin be dis? who be dis abeg? there has to be a solution for this, because ur next relationship will most likely start and end the same way as this....
see what i mean? where is the innocence and purity of love??
My advise might sound very silly, but i think thats the only way where u can feel the realness of the moment until it ends or until it blossoms into something bigger and better. Always give 100%. from the beginning to the end. That way, u had fun, no one took advantage of anything, it was good and den it became better or worse, and then every other thing unfolds. Leave it all to destiny, cos truly no one knows tomoro. Instead of starting it like u have a cold heart, getting ur heart melted, only to have it crushed, squeezed stepped on and spat at. then u go back into a harder shell, and have the episode replayed ALL OVER AGAIN when you meet the next douche.
think of it this way....if you act cautious and are paranoid about things, ur not being urself, and it still might not work out, but if you give ur 100% from the begining, u're being urself, it might or might not work, but u still had the time of ur life innit?!
***this applies to WOMEN and MEN! i know both sexes who have had this experience...
hmmmmm i dont even know if this is Roman, Karma, Tunmama or even Tunrayo... i think its Tunrayo, cos i'm speaking from the heart today... ah pple must read this post o! lol
kissess,
Tunrayo
do u ever reminisce about when you were younger? when your worries were just 'i don't want mummy to catch me'? when love was just pure and innocent? when you were not paranoid about anything? when your relationship worries were not - is he/she cheating, is he/she husband/wife material, will he/she marry me? when everything was just about fun? I woke up yesterday morning with that feeling. i have this problem of remembering things...details especially (refer to my post http://tunmama.blogspot.com/2010/11/goldfish-like-mesmh.html) so when i was remembering all those times when things used to be so easy it was vague but it was sweet.
Its so difficult now that before you do anything you have to think about so many other things. Being too cautious sucks u know, it usually backfires. when you are too careful sometimes, the other person knows and that person can take complete full advantage of you by making u understand that theres nothin to be cautious about and that you can trust them with ur feelings. Believe it or not, being extremely cautious is the fastest ride to being vulnerable. ask me why. u act all tuff at first, but once the person tells u u can trust them, u let ur guard down, u let it down completely. its like u have found that person that is what you have been looking for. Once you let go, the person now has u completely. U will turn to mumu. Now u will be lucky if this person is good and truly has good intentions, (dats mostly the case), but then u get too comfy and maybe eventually start to over do it. you get so involved that this person becomes ur life. Now imagine if that person just comes to u one day and tells u its over. wont u die? ur life is over na abi? that prolly happend becos once u let down ur guard, u opend up parts of u that the person did not know, and maybe it was too overwhelming for the person. maybe the person started feeling choked or even scared like - wetin be dis? who be dis abeg? there has to be a solution for this, because ur next relationship will most likely start and end the same way as this....
see what i mean? where is the innocence and purity of love??
My advise might sound very silly, but i think thats the only way where u can feel the realness of the moment until it ends or until it blossoms into something bigger and better. Always give 100%. from the beginning to the end. That way, u had fun, no one took advantage of anything, it was good and den it became better or worse, and then every other thing unfolds. Leave it all to destiny, cos truly no one knows tomoro. Instead of starting it like u have a cold heart, getting ur heart melted, only to have it crushed, squeezed stepped on and spat at. then u go back into a harder shell, and have the episode replayed ALL OVER AGAIN when you meet the next douche.
think of it this way....if you act cautious and are paranoid about things, ur not being urself, and it still might not work out, but if you give ur 100% from the begining, u're being urself, it might or might not work, but u still had the time of ur life innit?!
***this applies to WOMEN and MEN! i know both sexes who have had this experience...
hmmmmm i dont even know if this is Roman, Karma, Tunmama or even Tunrayo... i think its Tunrayo, cos i'm speaking from the heart today... ah pple must read this post o! lol
kissess,
Tunrayo
Tuesday, March 15
my first foto editing!! a new profession brewwwingg!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm so i'm gonna start being a picture editor soon o! i'll let u know when i'm official and ready for work. i'll work on your pictures for u and make u look flawless. Maybe i'll venture into photography too... who knows *thinking*
Ok so my above foto is the first editing i've just done. it was quite rush rush tho. pls lemme know what u think. do i look flawless? :D
Roman!
Friday, March 11
sooooooooooo i put up my first vid up on youtube! check it.
Hey guys! so my webcam on my lappy has been messing up, but i finally go HP support to hook me back up! yaay! i'm a very excited person so already from the office i started recording myself n all. so sha i have uploaded a vid on youtube. go and watch it. if u want insult me o! sha make a comment thr!
heres d link! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3UVhDEMba4
i'm gonna post it here for u to watch too, but pls still check it on youtube o becos now i only have 1 view and its from me! *sad*
Roman!
heres d link! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3UVhDEMba4
i'm gonna post it here for u to watch too, but pls still check it on youtube o becos now i only have 1 view and its from me! *sad*
tadaaa!!!
Friday, March 4
Happy birthday mommmmyyy!!!!! ....it was yesterday sha
my mom's birthday was yesterday!! Happy birthday mommy!
i love that woman so so soooo much. She is everything to me. All my life she has been there for me and my brothers. Even when things have been hard, she never lets it affect us or her love for us. she is so strong. i'm glad she's my mom.
She calls me tunbebe, emily oni kaba (lol), ajiunn etc
love u mama! happy birthday baby!
Tunmama!
i love that woman so so soooo much. She is everything to me. All my life she has been there for me and my brothers. Even when things have been hard, she never lets it affect us or her love for us. she is so strong. i'm glad she's my mom.
She calls me tunbebe, emily oni kaba (lol), ajiunn etc
love u mama! happy birthday baby!
Tunmama!
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